When we came back to New York after Madeline's birthday, I was shocked at how much trouble she had understanding why Daddy wasn't home. She was fine when we were visiting in Washington, but I think she thought when we got back here he would be waiting for us.
The first couple of weeks were really sad, watching her try to find him. She would hold anything up and say, "Daddy's?" Even one time when I was getting ready to put her down for a nap she ran into the living room. I said, "Oh, you know what is coming." She turned around so excited and said, "Daddy? Daddy coming?!" It totally broke my heart. She would grab my phone and want to call Daddy, but not understand that he is in Iraq and we can't call him, we have to wait for him to call us. Every single time she picked up a pencil she drew Daddy, or wanted me to draw Daddy. It was so hard to try to explain why he isn't here anymore, because she just doesn't understand yet.
I was talking to a friend about this at church a couple of weeks ago, because I knew her daughter (3 years old) had a horrible time when her dad first deployed. We have a senior couple serving a mission here, and they are specifically military support missionaries. I guess they gave this little girl a book called Over There. I think the Army puts it out, and they have one for deployed Moms and one for deployed Dads. Anyway, my friend had the book with her, and she very generously loaned it to us. It is a board book, and it is super simple, because it is for kids ages 0-3. Basically it talks about how Daddy does the same things over there that I do here (brush teeth, read books, go to bed, etc.), and that he loves me no matter where he is. In the back is a spot to put a picture of your soldier. It is a great book, and Madeline loves it! Literally, she has to sleep with it. She crawls in bed for nap or bedtime, and the first thing she wants is "Daddy." It has really helped her to feel better about Joe not being here. She still talks about him all the time, but in a less anxious manner, and I am sure it will continue to get better as time passes. I am just so grateful that we have an awesome support group here, so I don't have to feel like I am totally alone in this.
And, the good news is, Joe should be home by the end of October!! I know, I am not going to get my hopes up too much, and I want to still anticipate him being here by mid-November, but from what I understand everything is set, they are just waiting for the flight plans. Oh, what a relief it will be when he comes home...
2 comments:
oh my goodness Roxanne you are such a rock(i mean this in such a good way), strong and so impressive. I think all of the military moms are so amazing. I think I would be a wreck if I were in your shoes, I mean I can barely stand my husband being gone for a weekend camping trip with the boyscouts and to know that you go months possibly years without your husband is so incredible. You will be SO blessed for all of your sacrifices and so will Madeline. What a sweet little girl I"m thinking about you.
Roxanne, that breaks my heart. I know how much my little 2-yr. old son loves his dad and could just imagine what it would be like for him-- much the same. I am excited for you both though that he comes back home soon. I bet it is hard not to count down the days.
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